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self reflection
The Sky
May 12, 2020
Sunrise from the hospital, to be exact - the Emergency Department. :D
I think this one was taken on my post-night shift around 7am plus.
Sunrise.
Means it is another day.
Another opportunity. Another chance.
For?
Being a better person.
I always wonder, how did I survived housemanship the past 2 years. To be honest, I believe most housemen will have the thought of quitting, but due to every own reasons, most of them survived and still surviving. It was a tough journey. Hanis Amanina who you are seeing now is a lot different than who she was in Czech or before that. Hehe :D
Go with the flow.
Sometimes, I cannot deny that the HOship hurt my heart and feeling a lot. I believe it affects my personality, my attitude and my knowledge. Learning as a medical student is not the same as being a doctor itself. The responsibilities I need to carry every time I do something to the patients, always overwhelm me. Still.
But at the same time, honestly it gave me happiness as well - able to manage patients correctly, able to see patients getting healthy, surrounded with good and helpful colleagues, have the opportunity to say the first Assalamualaikum to newborns. MashaAllah, the feeling was AMAZINGGGG and I will never forget that! :)
I believe the key is not to give up.
Recently I read the The Art of Letting God, at the very first chapter, it shared about the greatest temptation. I agree that the greatest temptation to deal with is the temptation to give up.
"Are these goals truly achievable? Am I being realistic? Am I good enough? Am I worthy of such achievements? Or is it simple better for me to just give up?"
In the book, it mentioned about dealing with it is by asking help from Allah. When we looked back the story of Prophet Moses (peace be upon him), despite only asking for ease, he also asked for strength, wisdom, patience, ability and support.
I have shared a post about DOA PENERANG HATI when I was still a medical student. At that time, I was having difficulties adapting with Czech's exam system where almost all exams were done orally. T_T It was a struggle to speak medical stuffs or answer medical questions confidently in the exam because once you said something wrong, the examiner will directly know you are lacking something there and suddenly he will go deeper on something that you are not confident with.
But Alhamdulillah, that phase has passed. :)
Housemanship tooooo :)
Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.
Anyway, still remember my collections of sky over 2014? Can't believe 6 years have passed. WOWWW. MashAllah :)
Day 8 of May Photo A Day - The Sky
SM, Perak, Malaysia
200512
I am not sure if you can find people talking about this movie on your Facebook
timeline, but it happened to mine. I was a bit hesitated to watch at first but
subhanAllah it was definitely a great movie to be appreciated! :)
It is actually a Turkish movie and I have no experience watching any before.
Synopsis:
The story played around the Korean War eras which was between 1950-1953,
where United Nations came to help South Korea from being attacked by North
Korea. One of the countries that send a lot of soldiers was Turkey. A
Turkish brigade was sent there, one of the soldiers was Sergeant Süleyman.
While Ayla was a 5 year old Korean girl, lost her parents when their village
was bombed. The name Ayla was given after she was saved by Süleyman from a
frozen night in the moonlight. Two of them developed deep connection as
father-daughter, where Ayla could be seen around Süleyman almost every time
and everywhere. They were together for almost 1.5 years.
Upon completing his task in South Korea, finally it was time for Süleyman to
return to Turkey and he found it difficult to leave Ayla. They were attached
to each other. Süleyman tried to leave Ayla at Ankara School but ended up
trying to bring Ayla back to Turkey in his suitcase - his mission failed.
Süleyman had to leave Ayla alone. Upon arrival to Turkey, he tried his best
to get in touch with the school but the communication was disaster because
of the war. Both of them reunited after almost 60 years. T__T
This is a real-life story where we can watch the documentary Kore Ayla on
MBC in 2010.
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| Sweet! |
2. War Ethics
Ayla was found in the sea of dead bodies.
"Cowards! They slaughtered everyone, even the children."
Somehow, I suddenly recalled the war ethics of Rasulullah - one of them is
don't kill a woman / a child. Ayla witnessed her parents died and refused to
talk, maybe she was traumatized. Süleyman didn't want to leave her anywhere,
he ended up taking her to the base.
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| The very first time Ayla met Süleyman |
After failed his attempt to bring Ayla onto the ship back to
Turkey, Suleyman accepted the fact that he need to return alone. He promised
himself and Ayla that he will return to meet her.
The scene was heart breaking T_T
Can you imagine a small kid who had lost both parents in front of her eyes,
now need to be apart with the one she loved as a father? T_T
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The ending T___T |
Self Reflection from Ebit Lew's Beautiful Words
April 26, 2020
After reading these tweets on Twitter, I decided to read more about Ebit Lew. I know his name was famous ever since the Movement Control Order (MCO), when he directly go from one hospital to another to support the preparation for Covid Screening. There were lots of posts flowing on my Facebook timeline at that time, which amazed me a lot. He spent huge amount of money to help those in need.
But, I don't really understand the current issue when he decided to take a break till MCO to be lifted later.
Otherwise, he is an impressive Muslim, who makes me reflect how much have I done for the community. I pray hard that Allah blessed me with my job's contributions as I am not that active in social contribution like him. -_-'
21 pesanan bermakna dari Ebit Lew.— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
1- “Walaupun kita miskin, tapi bila kita ada agama, kita bahagia”
2- “Kita solat bukan sebab kita baik, tapi sebab kita hamba Allah.”
3- “Siapa betulkan solat, Allah betulkan hidup dia.” pic.twitter.com/t2KG4yLutf
4- “Ketika kita ingat Allah, Allah ingat kita. Ketika kita lupa Allah, Allah tetap ingat kita.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
5- “Kita selalu ingat apa yang kita nak dari Allah, tapi kita selalu lupa apa yang Allah nak dari kita.”
6- “Melihat bukan dengan mata tapi dengan hati. Hati yang kenal Allah SWT akan sentiasa belajar mencari kebaikan orang.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
7- “Kemusnahan hidup seseorang bermula apabila dia mula bersangka buruk terhadap sekelilingnya. Dan kemuncak kemusnahannya adalah apabila dia mula bersangka buruk dengan Tuhan.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
8- “Tak mengapa orang hina atau aibkan kita, kita bukan hidup untuk penghormatan manusia tapi hanya untuk Allah sayang.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
9- “Segemuk-gemuk ikan pasti ada tulangnya. Sekurus-kurus ikan pasti ada dagingnya. Sebaik-baik orang pasti ada buruknya. Seburuk-buruk orang pasti ada baiknya. Buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih, carilah baik dalam buruk orang, itulah akhlak. Carilah buruk dalam kebaikan diri...— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
...sendiri, itulah ikhlas.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
10- “Untuk Allah bantu kita, kita kena dapat doa orang yang makbul doanya. Pertama doa mak ayah kita. Kedua, doa isteri. Ketiga, doa orang baik-baik serta kawan-kawan kita walau melalui ucapan di Facebook. Doakanlah semula kebaikan buat mereka.”
11- “Bila kita bawa orang yang jauh dari Allah kembali kepada Allah,itulah cinta yang sebenar.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
12- “Biar apa orang nak kata, yang penting kita hidup untuk Allah sayang.”
13- “Kita cuba tutup kesedihan dengan hiburan. Tetapi, akhirnya tiada apa yang kita dapat. Kerana ubat kesedihan adalah sujud dan mengadu kepada Allah.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
14- “Dalam hidup ini, kita kena ingat Allah sentiasa sayang kita. Bila Allah sayang dia beri kebaikan, dia beri kita hati yang tenang. Jadi kita kena banyak puji Tuhan.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
15- “Bila kita dakwah orang tapi orang tak dengar, kita doa; Ya Allah, mereka tak tahu, tak faham, mereka lupa. Ya Allah, beri hidayah kepada dia.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
16- “Segala benda tak ada yang kebetulan, tak sengaja dan sengaja, itu semua Allah dah aturkan. Allah dah pertemukan....
... Tujuannya untuk kebaikan.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
17- “Wanita ini amat lembut dan dijadikan untuk disayangi, dikasihi dan dibimbing untuk masuk syurga. Allah jadikan mereka untuk melengkapi kita. Pasti tidak ada silap. Silap hanya bagaimana diri kita menyingkapi dan melaluinya.”
18- “Semua manusia ada hati dan keinginan untuk jadi baik.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
19- “Jangan risau kalau kita buat baik orang tak nampak, yang penting Allah nampak.”
20- “Bila cinta kerana Allah, untuk Allah sayang. Cinta itu akan kekal. Tapi jika cinta selain dari itu belum ada jaminan apa-apa. Berusaha mengasihi keluarga kita kerana Allah untuk redha Allah.— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
21- “Kita sentiasa mengharapkan kasih sayang daripada manusia. Namun para sahabat hanya mengharapkan kasih sayang daripada Allah. Anugerah yang sebenar-benarnya adalah daripada Allah. Orang yang paling disayangi oleh ramai orang boleh jadi akan dibenci sekelip mata...— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
...Tetapi itu tidak penting, yang penting apabila Allah sayang.”— Rahim Isam (@rahim_isam) April 25, 2020
Kita kongsi untuk semua ambil manfaat ??
Here, he mentioned a lot about prayers. Yeah, solat tiang agama kan? Simple but most of us take it for granted T_T. I realised as Muslims, we tend to get farther from Allah, especially when we are blessed with ease, happiness, success at that time. But we forget that all those rizq are from Him.
Every speech of him are very eye and heart opening. Sometimes, we tend to search for others' mistakes forgetting that we are human too, so we also make mistakes. Here, we need to practice to see good in others.
Hidup kerana Allah, do things for the sake of Allah.
I need to always renew my intention every time I treat patient with this mindset. For Allah, for Allah, for Allah.
May Allah bless him and us :)
Ameen!
Salam Ramadhan everyone.
SM, Perak, Malaysia
200426
I am The Adventurer (ISFP-T)
January 5, 2020
I was reading a blog post of Ain Soofiyah about her personality and suddenly I wonder about mine. I think I have done the test before, but not really sure what was it. So, I decided to redo the test, well, I have been working for almost 2 years, I assume my personality will be a bit different.
Summary of my personality based on the further explanation (they explained a lot!) Honestly their words are too beautiful and I can reflect myself a lot, like "woahh, I feel it!", "macam betul je niii."
Happy to Be Who They Are
- Adventurers are unpredictable, even to their close friends and loved ones - because they love spontaneity.
- They need time to recharge and during this time, they will reflect themselves then come back as a transformed one.
- They will find ways to push their passions (more into gambling / extreme sports).
- Can lose tempers after receiving criticism that are more biting / less mature
Meaning is in Every Expression of Life
- Biggest challenge is to plan for the future
- It is hard to develop and maintain a new habit, but Adventurers will use their strengths to pursue whatever they've come to love.
Adventurer Strengths
- Charming - they are relaxed and warm - makes them likable & popular.
- Sensitive to others - can easily relates to other's emotions - can minimize conflict
- Passionate - hahaha this is interesting. It says that when Adventurers are caught up in something exciting and interesting, they can leave everything else in the dust. :D
- Curious - they need to see and explore first to confirm anything.
- Artistic - have a way to visualize stuffs.
Adventurer Weakness
- Fiercely independent - if anything interfere with freedom of expression, it creates sense of oppression.
- Unpredictable - tend to actively avoid planning for future - may affect romantic relationship / financial.
- Easily stressed - they live in full of emotion.
- Overly competitive - can escalates small things into intense competition, turning down long term success to be happy at the moment
- Fluctuating self-esteem
Romantic Relationship
- They prefer to listen than to express
- If they are accepted for who they are, Adventurers are warm, enthusiastic partners
- Tend to let partner to lead for long term plans, but they almost never run out of things to do at the moment.
- Caring and loyal, love finding ways to surprise partners in fun little ways.
- Enjoy spending time with partner.
- Adventurers believe in actions, not words – but it’s crucial that they know their feelings are shared.
Things are unlikely to ever grow stale – even the longest-term partners can be surprised by the secrets Adventurers keep.
Friendships
- Love spending time with friends doing casual, fun activities
- Adventurers’ relaxed, non-judgmental attitudes make it easy for them to get along with others, but it’s not always the same way around.
- Sensitive and takes time to build enough trust with new friends to open up and feel natural
Parenthood
- Adventurer personalities’ natural warmth, practicality and relaxed nature help them to settle in and appreciate every moment of joy and hardship that comes with raising a child.
- People with the Adventurer personality type love fun, hands-on activities, and as their children grow, they’re often encouraged to pick up extra hobbies that revolve around those kinds of activities.
- Still, need to rely on partner for long term planning for kids.
Career Path
- Adventurers personalities' greatest need: creative freedom
- Whether organizing charity events, working with hospitals to make patients’ stays more pleasant, or laying stone to help make a house a home, Adventurers always seem to find a way to make the world a little more beautiful and exciting, and to make a living in the process.
All in all, seems like there are things I can totally relate to myself and quite a number that I don't feel the same. Maybe I should take the test again later. Haha. But, I guess you guys can take the test too, it is interesting to discover ourselves and maybe get to know something new about us too :D
SM, Perak
20200105
Best Eight in 2019 - What About 2020?
January 3, 2020
Haha, I was excited to follow the crowd to do this bestnine-thingy, yet to find that I don't even have 9 pictures to complete it. :D
But it was okayy, as all pictures in Instagram for 2019 are the selected one, to remind myself, how good my life has been. Thank you Allah :)
For this 2020, I wish to post and share my reflection more on my blog that has been away from me. I miss writing my self-reflection and actually Instagram is an easier medium to do so, but most of times, I feel my Instagram now is too public for me to share my feelings especially the one related to work. :)
I can't afford to write a long post which I feel really bad for that. I miss the moment I have free time to write.
Things change. I am looking at the bright side of it, yeay!
Shorter post, but regular one :)
SM, Perak.
20200103
Just Because It is August | 2.0 :)
August 4, 2019
I realized I tend to reflect myself more in this month, I mean August. And yeah, August this year gonna be a step to another level in my life, insyAllah. :)
p/s - pray for me yea and kindly share tips for a good marriage if you have any :)
JUST BECAUSE IT IS AUGUST :)
PRIORITIES
To be honest, I regularly read my own posts and reflect how I used to be before and how am I currently. Obviously, life changed me a lot, from working experiences dealing with different kinds of patients, appreciating life when dealing of newborns and oldies etc. Nowadays, I am struggling to put my thoughts into words as I think I haven't properly reflect myself the past one year plus. And I miss to do so, very much.
Just a recap of what I have go through so far - so that the future me will further appreciate how my life have turn myself into a better person, insyAllah.
1. I am already in my 5th posting, Alhamdulillah.
It means I have been in this housemanship for more than a year. To be honest, I still feel afraid to think about dealing with people's life. Recently, my new head of department asked this popular question to us, the new comers in Paediatrics - "Why do you choose to be a doctor?" Seriously, this is a very general question, yet can be quite tricky to answer. I bet different doctors have different reasons for this and there are simply no right or wrong answers. You can help people by being a doctor and you can still help people by not being a doctor.
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| Attending newborn. |
After a while, I realised for me it is actually medicine that chose me and Allah led my way towards medicine. It was hard at the beginning to have the passion as this job is physically and mentally challenging.
But, after few initial weeks of working, I can feel the satisfaction of being a doctor, despite I am still learning my best to be the good and safe doctor. It started with when the patient admitted to ward for some symptoms and I need to figure out what actually happened to the patient based on his/her clinical symptoms, trying to correlate with the physical examinations with the help of imagings (like ultrasounds / x-rays / CT scan ets) plus blood investigation then come out with a diagnosis and try to manage the disease with some plans.
The best feeling is when I would be the one discharging the patient after giving treatment and the patient got better and well. I really love the feeling when the patient does not have the symptoms anymore and when I can see clinically he is getting better - having appetite to eat, able to move around, able to smile and have better conversations with family members.
2. I am getting married soon, insyAllah.
We knew each other for a year plus, have been working together as well. Many colleagues were surprised about this as we don't really show our relationship to others, only those who are close to us knew about it. And I feel glad when the close friends keep on supporting us and still keep the info to themselves. :)
I feel so blessed when Allah gives me the opportunity to have this feeling and may Allah lead our hearts, together, towards the right path till the end, till Jannah, insyAllah ameen.
My parents were very excited to know about this, so do his... and for me parents' blessings are one of the most important thing I consider for a relationship. I love how he approached me, it was sweet, simple and direct, not leaving me with uncertainties :). The exact moment when I seriously considering to proceed was when he went to meet my parents and when he said something like this to me - "I would love to know more about you and to have you as my life partner, my best friend, my companion, my wife, the mother to our children, my partner in crime, my travel mate."
Thank you Allah for sending him into my life and please guide us towards a happy and blessed marriage.
3. #kemasrumahwithhani
I just discover this FB group - #kemasrumahwithhani recently and I totally fall in love with all the posts. My brain wants to live a minimalist life but my heart keep on buying stuffs that I thought I will use. It was difficult to de-clutter stuffs without the guilty or sentimental feeling but some things I need to let go as I don't want to be a hoarder. Alhamdulillah, I can currently control myself not to buy random stuffs, hehe.
Try to explore the group, we can get ideas on how to organize our stuffs - even like how to fold the clothes, how to dry clothes in rainy seasons, how to easily clean the kitchen, how to deep clean the washing machine, how to do food preparation, how to decide when to keep or let go of our stuffs and etc. :)
p/s - pray for me yea and kindly share tips for a good marriage if you have any :)
SM, Perak, Malaysia
190104
Sabtu lepas, saya berpeluang menonton perlawanan bola sepak antara Perak & JDT di Stadium Ipoh. Hasil perlawanan, JDT menang dengan skor 1-0.
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| Tiket last minute |
Mungkin ramai yang tahu, ada isu besar selepas tamat perlawanan. I was there and I witnessed most of the scenes. Tapi saya taknak pro mana-mana untuk insiden tu. Walaupun saya sebagai seorang anak Perak dan semestinya menyokong pasukan Perak, saya masih rasa yang sebahagian penyokong Perak bertanggungjawab dengan insiden tu. Penyokong JDT pun sama. Nobody is perfect.
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I read somewhere... yang untuk menjadi insan yang hebat, kita kena selalu muhasabah diri. Ambik masa sedikit dan renungkan kembali apa yang berlaku dalam hidup kita. Cara yang mungkin mudah untuk dicuba - sebelum tidur, luangkan 10 minit untuk imbau kembali pagi tengah hari petang malam kita.
Apa kejadian yang kita boleh ambil sebagai iktibar.
Apa kebaikan yang boleh kita boleh teruskan untuk buat.
Apa keburukan yang kita boleh ubah atau tinggalkan.
Amar makruf kena seiring dengan nahi mungkar. Kan?
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Berbalik pada kisah bola di Stadium Perak tadi... sebenarnya kalau tak silap, saya menjejakkan kaki ke dalam stadium Ipoh selepas 7 tahun. Memang dah lama tak menonton bola kat stadium. Agak janggal jugak, dari membeli tiket --> beratur nak masuk stadium --> check beg --> cari seats kosong yada yada.
Masuk je dalam stadium, masyaAllah memang ramai orang, seat-seat yang menarik semuanya dah penuh. Paluan gendang bergema. Pemain kedua-dua pasukan tengah warm-up di tengah padang.
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| Penyokong Perak |
Selesai jumpa seat, terus bergegas ke surau untuk solat Maghrib. It was already 8.15pm. Walaupun dah bertolak sebelum Maghrib, terlambat kerjakan solat akibat jalan jem teruk, parking jauh etc. Banyak betul alasannya, Nina. -_-'
1. Jaga solat walaupun teruja nak tonton perlawanan bola sepak.
Surau lelaki nampak agak penuh, sampaikan ada jemaah di luar surau. Amazed with this :)
Di surau wanita, ada lebih kurang 5 orang je. I was expecting more actually, sebabnya setiap kali solat di surau hospital (sepanjang 3 minggu lepas), memang sentiasa penuh dan sesak. Ni apatah lagi stadium yang beribu-ribu orang ni. Tapi boleh jadi diorang dah solat di awal waktu ataupun dah solat siap-siap di rumah / masjid berdekatan. Alhamdulillah.
2. Selalulah nyanyi lagu negeri.
I can't remember when was the last time I officially sing a Perak anthem. Honestly, it was an awkward moment when I don't remember the rhythm! Macam mana nak describe ea... Semua orang tahu kan yang melodi lagu Negaraku dan Negeri Perak tu sama je. I know that as well.
Cuma, nak masukkan lirik dalam melodi tu... saya krik-krik kejap. Sebab rasa versi yang saya biasa nyanyi lain sikit dengan yang kat stadium ni.
Ada 2 possibilities yang saya fikirkan;
- memang ada lain-lain versi dan selama ni saya nyanyi versi yang berbeza.
- memang dah ditukar versi baru.
Ada 2 possibilities yang saya fikirkan;
- memang ada lain-lain versi dan selama ni saya nyanyi versi yang berbeza.
- memang dah ditukar versi baru.
The version I used to sing.
3. Do we really need to use hateful chants / slogans?
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| Penyokong Perak lagi |
4. Setiap pergaduhan banyaknya bermula dengan provokasi.
5. Stadium tu bukan tempat sesuka hati nak vandalisme.
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| Sampah bertaburan |
6. Buang sampah dalam tong sampah, pretty please~~
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| Baling membaling |
7. Elakkan merokok. Some people suffer.
8. Konklusi, semangat kesukanan yang sihat... dah hilang.
4 Things We Can't Recover in Life
February 12, 2015
Hi guys, assalamualaikum :)
I just did my final exam yesterday and now am having 'holidays' for 4 days before starting new semester! Wohoo, alhamdulillah, all went well and I'm looking forward to do my blogwalking! It's been a while, and I really appreciate all the comments and will try my best to visit your blogs :)
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| hari-hari bertapa, bertapa hari-hari |
So, what to do with this 4 days?
I need to proceed with my [Roadtrip] Where East Meets West' posts. Hihi. I must finish it before the real feeling go away.
But, first let me
Before that, I need to claim that the pictures and story are not mine. :) I took them from HERE and they are actually in slideshow. I tried to use embedded code but it turns out to be small for my blog.
What do you feel? At first, I tried to put myself in the lady's shoes. Maybe I don't really get angry if someone beside me take my food, as sometimes I do offer food to strangers while waiting for public transportation. While, for that man, I was amazed as he keep calm till the end.
Let's get back to the title of the post. 4 things we can't recover in life. What do you think?
.
.
.
.
Okay, here we go. ^_^
At first, I don't get it; the relation between stone and the stories. But, soon I understand that throwing stone is actually what we do. The stone.... after the throw, is something we did and we can't take it back. Just imagine, you play pranks to someone who doesn't like pranks - and turn out he/she really hate it. And he/she can hate you too T_T
This is the most common thing that happen in our life. Saying something then you regret saying it. That's the reason I guess why people keep saying, "think twice before you said/act". Words can be good but at the same time can be painful to others.
For example, school/college bully on someone who doesn't have pretty face or fat guy/girl. (I saw this on movies actually, haven't experienced in real life). Sometimes, the harsh words can cause them to attempt suicide! or if less than that, it will be a torture to his/her psychology.
Ahaa, doing something on the RIGHT time, at the RIGHT place with the RIGHT surrounding - this is what we in life I guess? It can be anything; planning to do any ceremony, doing something for someone.
What I can reflect from the story; is about the moment we did something wrong to someone, but we have no more chance to ask forgiveness. Huhu. Like people said, doing something bad to Allah, insyAllah we can repent but if to people, we need to find them and ask forgiveness. T_T
Forgive people every day. so, we don't need to carry the burden of hating anyone. :)
This is very general and I can say we can apply to anything we do, even while reading this post, perhaps? Time is a valuable thing and obviously, we can't turn back to even 1 millisecond of our life.
Cherish it and use it wisely.
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I think there are more things we can't recover in life; like - trust after its lost.
Do share some thoughts yea. :)
Do good to people as how we want people to do the same to us. - quote
May this post benefits us. Ameen.
v Khaulah
150212
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